"I'm indubitably Glad To Meet You!" This post is going to introduce you to the permissible way to greet man at a networking event, or indubitably any other time as well.
There are dissimilar rules for dissimilar cultures, as we all know (at least I hope we do). In the far East, one should bow when meeting. In some parts of Europe, people kiss each others' cheeks. This primer is predominately for those of us in North America, which includes to some extent, Canada.
Ice Crusher
Of procedure in Canada, things are just a wee bit different. For example, in Canada when meeting someone, it would be coarse to say something like, "I'm very pleased to meet you, eh?" Or how about, "The pleasure is all mine, eh?" Or even, "How nice it is to meet you, eh?"
You get the idea.
O.K. Let's get right to it. There are many ways to shake a person's hand, and most of them are inappropriate to networking and creating a basis for a good relationship. In this primer, I'm going to mention only a few of the most common.
The Limp Fish Handshake You've all experienced this one, I'm sure! This is the one that, when man offers their hand and you take it, you want to use your left hand and put it on their carotid artery in their neck and check their pulse. You practically want to forcibly withdraw your hand and yell, "Yuck!" A woman would think, "If he can't even get his handshake firm....." This is the man that you would most likely have to follow-up with over and over and over and over, because they never return your calls.
The Bone Crusher Handshake Ah, yes. This is the one where the other man is trying to do a power play on you, show you who's boss. It kind of says to you, "You want some of this?" Your first reaction is to yell out in pain and then give him (usually it's a 'him') a knee in the groin followed by an uppercut. Doing enterprise with this guy would be such a pleasure!
The Finger Squeeze Handshake These are the folks who won't commit to giving you their whole hand. They stop short of the full grasp and just grab your fingers and squeeze. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it doesn't, but it always leaves you wanting more. Commitment issues? Possibly.
The Don't-Look-You-In-The-Eye Handshake What can I say? They will never remember you 'cause they can't identify you. They don't know what you look like. On the other hand, maybe they're submissive and you can sell them anyone if you use a harsh commanding voice. Worth a try, don't you think?
The Limp Wrist Handshake You might think that this is the same as the Limp Fish Handshake, but it's not. It's more of a courtly gesture towards women kind of thing. The other man takes your hand by the fingers and raises it to mouth level so that your palm is down. They don't indubitably kiss your hand, or even get it close to their mouth, but you practically think it's coming. You don't sense this one very often but if you do, you should probably curtsy back in response. Unless you're a guy, of course. Then you bow.
The Fist Bump, Backhand Slap, Finger Twiddle, Hip Bump Handshake - (Also known as the underground Ghetto Handshake) This one is difficult to do with panache. You know what panache is, right? I belief so. You're a savvy networker, aren't you? O.K., so this handshake should be reserved for people you already know. You might find that, after having completed this handshake, others are staring at you. You may have a tendency to grin widely. Suppress the grin! You want to look cool, not silly. Cool people do this handshake when they're trying to impress others (or they're drunk). Hey... My opinion, O.K?
The 15 Pumps Or More Handshake These people are your long lost buddies. They are enthusiastic. Friendly. Unaware. Tenacious. These folks are normally fun.
The Two-Handed Handshake people who use this handshake are either very sincere or are trying to fool you into reasoning that they are. If you eye them doing this with everyone, then chances are they are phony baloney. Some men do this only with women. Watch out for them. Make them sign contracts for everything.
The Do-Over This is great. The man who, after a botched handshake says, "Let's do that over" is self-assured, caring, has a sense of humor, is honest. A do-over breaks the ice like nothing else. This man is willing to accurate mistakes . But, on the other hand, this man may also be one who is a perfectionist. Who tries to accurate you every opening there is. Who is a know-it-all. Wow. Tough call.
I've given you some examples from my own experiences. I know that there are folks out there who have experienced other kinds of handshakes and I want to hear from you. The bottom line, however, is that if you want to network properly and make a permissible impression on those you meet, then you must give a firm obvious handshake while seeing them in the eye. This means with women you meet, too! Women mean enterprise and they appreciate a man who is obvious and holds them in high regard in return. So...get out there and shake someone's hand (don't forget to wash afterward because you don't know where that hand has been)!
The Networking Handshake Primer
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